The Humor of Windsurfing

Because sometimes you just gotta laugh

One of my all-time favorites. The Stories of Luigi Semenzato.

Grabbed from the Atlanta Boardsailing Club

Top Ten Reasons Why Women Should Hang Out With Windsurfer Guys

Author unknown

10. The ratio of men to women is 4 to 1 in your favor
9. They can talk about something besides football
8. They don't smell too bad because it's a good bet they've gotten wet recently
7. They have another interest besides sex
6. You know they're rich enough to afford the equipment
5. You always get the latest weather report, several times a day, whether you want it or not
4. They are capable of commitment, at least to their sport
3. They have an excuse to wear rubber
2. You always know where they are, at least when it's windy
1. Windsurfers are generally fit, tanned, and have cute butts.

A Collection of Windsurfing Quotes

Participants are expected to bring a heavy hors d'oeuvre. That's like crab dip with a techno fin in it. - Marcy Kennedy

Holy Cumulous Cloud Bank! Batman!! Is the Sky Falling?-Pete Toth

I found myself helping to water the sea oats so that the dunes wouldn't erode during the drought. - John Perry

I haven't peeed in wet suit yet,...because I don't have one. - Vito

When talking with co-windsurfers and trying to get your shoulders out of your wetsuit, be careful not to also grab your bathing suit strap as you forcefully pull down on the wetsuit. It tends to interrupt the flow of the conversation. - Marcy Kenedy

Agonizing Hesitation: Alone on the lake/On THIS run my first loop attempt/Or maybe the next - Chris Zeitvogel

To all new windsurfers........Think twice, and then think two more times about borrowing someone else's wetsuit! - Bob Rowland

...Of all the forms of exercise one can do...Swimming is one of the best! It will provide endurance, stamina, and flexibility. Johnny Weissumeller never missed a Croc! - Pete Toth

Women are not allowed at the masters and Chubby's not allowed at Buckroe. The world is not fair. - Keith Knight

This is the first race discussion that actually has substance to it. Keep it up and we may make a Springer episode. - Keith Knight

Windsurfing is king and we are its tiny pawns. - Bob Rowland

...intellect gives way to instinct, which is to throw the rig away, straighten arms and legs, and flail, flail, flail all the way to impact. And I am thankful for all that rubber on my body. - Chris Zeitvogel

I cannot tell if he has the look of a brave warrior ready to attack the surf, or if he is actually scared and is about pee in his pants (wetsuit). - Vic Reinhart

"Ask Ute if she knows anything about the shortage of material in Europe used for the construction of swimsuits. It seems that most of the Germans and many of the Italians and French weren't able to purchase the tops to their outfits. Unfortunately, I never convinced Denise that she looked overdressed on the beach - Gary Tanner on his trip to Margarita

"You can throw out all your outdated Newtonian physics books. Everything you thought you knew about our universe is about to be disproved. The scientists at IWindsurf have proven that Absolute Zero is *not* absolute zero. IW labs have achieved temperatures at least 200 degrees colder (-459) than what the pundits previously thought was absolute zero. This simple technique of quadruple positive cryogenic feedback breaks (actually shatters is more descriptive given the molecular state at these temperatures) through all previously conceived temperature barriers. We strongly recommend selling oil stocks short, given the obsolescence of this industry: very shortly IW will be unveiling its frozen-fusion technology which solves all the problems of cold-fusion. And later this year IW will save the Earth with its Global-Warming-Reversal (GWR) technology. Stay tuned, press releases are imminent....Meanwhile, we'll fix the windspeeds and temperatures. Looks like the auto-generator didn't. - Phil Atkinson of IWindsurf after seeing that the forecasts were calling for winds of 'n/a' and temperatures of -459

I marvel sometimes at Japanese women who wavesail. They rig their 3.3s, stretch on the beach, and then launch their tiny potato-chip boards into the maelstrom and thru sheer finesse flit out where I cannot charge. - Chris Zeitvogel

When I was sailing at Formosa yesterday, rather than using the correct terminology of 'breakwater', I was referring to it as that '$%#&#@!! pile of rocks'. Breakwater is much easier to say. - Rock Bell

It is easier to MAKE as sailing buddy than to FIND a sailing buddy. - Chris Zeitvogel

It's the shear joy of complete humiliation that keeps us windsurfers going! - Bob Rowland

We wrestle not with flesh and blood, but with epoxy, carbon fibre, monofilm and our own egos, dreams and indomitable wills. So let us shred. AMEN. - Chris Zeitvogel

quiver?....I dont need no stinking quiver.... - Adam Cartwright

Too cool for school. It's Buckroe or the pool. - Keith Knight

I wear thong underwear. - Keith Knight

As far as peeing....Your new suit will be thoroughly broken in. And there you have it that odd warm sensation generally reserved for infants and toddlers. - Stuart Gray

I want to have another nice session with Marcy and Kathy. - Bob Rowland

Professional Windsurfer: Someone who lives in their van. SUCCESSFUL Professional Windsurfer: The van runs. - Chris Zeitvogel

Clearly, we all know that positive vorticity advection at the 300mb level combined with the geostrophic wind coefficient along the east coast frequently yields greater POPS while doing little for the stoke factor. - John Perry on why the forecasts are so bad

Agonizing Hesitation: Alone on the lake/On THIS run my first loop attempt/Or maybe the next - Chris Zeitvogel

To all new windsurfers........Think twice, and then think two more times about borrowing someone else's wetsuit! - Bob Rowland

The picture on the back cover of the latest Victoria's Secret Swimsuit catalogue contains a Starboard and F2 board. - Marc Rosen (I just get it for the articles)

I used to love sitting on the beach. For some reason, it really stinks now. Windsurfing has taken the joy out of the slow life of vegging on the beach. - Lisa Cooke

Keep carving and hold on and you'd be surprised what you can pull off. It may be ugly but it beats swimming. - Chris Zeitvogel

Going to Dr Bobs to be stung by jellyfish with friends would be cool too. - Chris Zeitvogel

Never before have I nailed that many in a row--maybe the concern about the turd count in the Hampton Roads waters was keeping me dry, but something sure worked! - John Perry

Yes, the sea is wonderful. Someday she may spank you. But she's faithful, and she will be there the next day for you. - Vic Reinhart

After I sailed confidently across Willoughby and thought I was really doing great, I noticed I had snot hanging from my nose. SO...... now whenever I feel great about some new challenge, I always wipe my nose, just to be sure. - Marcy

I remember the feeling of the first time I planed, but am having trouble remembering the actual event. But also having trouble remembering exactly how old I am. - Bob Rowland

A resident in Chesapeake needs trees sawed, branches dragged to street, seeding of lawn, back porch rebuilt, leaning tree removed with crane (provide own insurance), garden rototilled, sails mended, footstraps replaced, and a place to go whine about all my hardships. - Bob Rowland

I only jump when some other windsurfer is watching. Any jump I do may be my last and I want someone to be able to put it in my eulogy. - Bob Rowland

When you have gotten through life mainly on your looks, like me, you can't go around tempting fate. - Bob Rowland

No matter how many times you rig... if you get wet under sail and plane at least once, your in the black for the day. - Dave Somers

I had my office window open and a cactus plant blew over and spilled dirt all over the floor. Another plant blew over, too, and did a perfect forward loop, landing rightside up on the floor without spilling any dirt. If a plant can do it, why can't I? - James Douglas

The D-Effect

Add this to your coloring book

Look who's taken up the sport

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